Monday, January 19, 2009

I Know Who Invented the Sunday Potluck

Without question, I know who invented the after church on Sunday morning potluck lunch. It had to have been a man.

Here is the Sunday morning routine of a typical man. Bible class begins at 9:30, so he gets up at 8:45. He showers, shaves, and dresses. By 9:15, he is sitting in the car honking for his family to hurry up, “We’re going to be late”. In my case, Steve is out the door by 5:30 or 6:00 am, not to be seen until I get to look at him from afar in the pulpit.

Here is what a typical woman does on a Sunday morning. Get up early. Let the dog out. Fix breakfast for the kids. Do shower, makeup and hair. Iron church clothes. Wake up grumbling children. See that grumbling children take a bath if not done the night before. Practice memory work one more time with the children. Clean up breakfast. Start dishwasher. Look for missing sock. Make sure all materials are ready for the Bible class that she is to teach. Fix daughter’s hair. Break up fight, (this could be children or dogs). Clean up dog mess. Straighten up. Make bed. Look for missing Bible. Tell kids to brush their teeth and get their Bibles. If you throw a baby into the mix, you’re nursing, bathing, dressing, clean up spit up, dress again, load diaper bag, change dirty diaper, and dress again. On potluck day, there is food to cook or at least heat up again. Then the woman must remember to carry children, diaper bag, Bible, class materials, purse, checkbook, and hot food to the car to the tune of children fussing over who sits where and the husband’s horn honking.

Now we all get to church. Mom takes children to class and then teaches a Bible class. At worship time, she sits through services with a fussy baby, squirming toddler, or with an eye out for note writing/whispering teenagers. In the young years, she may be leaving the assembly for baby care or to make “attitude adjustments” aka spanking a child. She must sing, pray, commune, listen to the lesson, and give while trying to keep her mind focused where it should be.

Next, is the potluck. While the men gather to visit and share the news, the women are scrambling to get the tables ready, food heated, and drinks poured. Then when the prayer is said, who gets to go through the line first? It’s the men or possibly a woman who is fixing a plate for a fussy child. The women who have already been through so much this morning are always the last to fix their own plates.

So there you have it. With all that a woman does on a Sunday morning, you know a man had to invent the potluck. They do no preparation, just show up and eat. When it’s over, a man may or may not pick up the trash while the women are cleaning tables, washing dishes, and loading everything back up. While I know there are some who really enjoy the monthly potluck, as for me, I’ll go to Mexican ANY time.

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